ARE YOU SUGGESTING WHAT I THINK YOU ARE SUGGESTING?
my grandpa has a date tonight and hes really old and in a wheelchair and has to drag around this breathing machine but hes just sitting there waiting for the hospice shuttle to take him to pick up his date and he looks suPER EXCITED and its the cutest thing ive ever seen
update he came home and i asked him how it went and he said, “i should have taken an extra tank of oxygen because she took my BREATH AWAY”
THATS SO CUTE SEND HELP
the thing about teen wolf is: you’re either watching 40 backflips and unusually bright explosions in a row or you’re watching a ten minute conversation between half of the characters around a very important looking table
And they’re all leaning on the table looking serious
neck kissing is honestly the hottest, most seductive thing anybody could ever do to me. if you kiss my neck, if you playfully bite my neck, if your tongue touches my neck i will melt in your fingertips.
Don’t shame the girls who sent pictures of themselves half-naked to their significant others as a way to express eroticism which is healthy and natural… give the people hell who think it’s okay to destroy someone’s trust and distribute those images simply for entertainment purposes.
Say it again. I don’t think they got it the first time. Too much truth.
I like how Homer occasionally says something really intelligent between “dohs”
why would merfolk even have boobs when breastfeeding is a solely mammalian trait and mermaids would technically be fish right? so even if they did have lumps of fat on their chests they wouldn’t have nipples
also boobs would create drag and slow them down when they swam so the typical sexy big-boobed mermaids would probably be bred out by natural selection
when my friend told her drug dealer that she was transgender he immediately started using the correct pronouns for her and her parents dont so theres an issue there
a film starring rinko kikuchi, lupita nyong’o, natalie dormer, lucy liu, laverne cox, amber heard, michelle rodriguez, nicole beharie and ellen page as either an all female heist team or the world’s first all female super team
100,000 notes and I wonder how many people realise this line was improvised by a 7 year old
I think most of us guessed it when we saw the “people from liverpool” bit.
what if Irene Adler’s phone code wasn’t SHERlocked and he typed it in and she was like omg you’re so self obsessed
the episode would have been 1000x better tbh
#and then she texts him screencaps of the dictionary definition of “lesbian” every hour on the hour for like five days
“We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do’. Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time’
“Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle…’Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went “KFHGSKG” and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!” If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz’”
Oh, Louis CK, advocate for the female orgasm. (via wantonmasochist)
Nothing has ever been more accurate.